Parenting / 8 April, 2025 / Ellie Thompson
At My Baba, we all know that supporting women by the transitional tween years is each a privilege and a problem. As our daughters develop up, their sense of self and confidence might be deeply impacted by the world round them. One of an important areas to nurture throughout this time is physique confidence in tweens — serving to women really feel succesful, robust, and constructive about who they’re changing into.
In this visitor article, specialists Janet Boseovski, PhD, and Ashleigh Gallagher, PhD, share sensible, evidence-based methods for fostering real physique confidence in women, setting them up for resilience and lifelong well-being.
Changes within the Tween Years
Many of us who know and love a little bit woman are stunned once we discover that we out of the blue have a tween on our palms– it’s as if she is changing into a unique individual! In some methods, she is. Late childhood is marked by a woman’s rising consciousness of how others view her, and as she begins to focus her consideration on her associates and social world, it’s common to see an uptick in issues about her physique and bodily look. During this developmental interval, women are likely to lose a few of their childhood optimism, or “rose-colored glasses” about themselves and the world basically.
What Does It Really Mean to Be Body Confident?
When we spot this modification, many parents naturally marvel how we are able to shield our women or empower them to be physique assured. This question-as nicely because the broader matter of physique positivity- has develop into a standard level of debate amongst those that need to make sure that women be ok with who they’re changing into.
To finest equip our women with confidence, although, it’s useful to take a step again and unpack what we imply by “body confident.” So usually, physique confidence is related to feeling nice about how we glance, together with our physique’s look or measurement. Many widespread press and media retailers promote the concept that physique confidence is basically about look. Although well-intentioned, pondering of physique confidence like this will backfire in two essential methods.
Moving Beyond Appearance
First, we’re a lot greater than our our bodies, and we wish our women to grow to be the folks they need to be—not simply the our bodies they need to be. Focusing on feeling nice about how her physique appears to be like attracts consideration away from excited about who she is and all that she will be able to accomplish. Second, our our bodies are in fixed change. This is very true in tweenhood, however our bodies proceed to alter all through life. Focusing totally on feeling nice about look will take up appreciable psychological area within the coming years of awkward adolescence, and this area may very well be diverted to determining the extra central (and attention-grabbing!) options of her identification.
The True Meaning of Body Confidence
There is a extra profitable path to physique confidence for women. The true essence of the phrase confidence is feeling succesful— figuring out what our our bodies can do and figuring out that we are able to rely on them. And physique confidence is barely a bit of the general confidence that we wish women to develop of their ideas and behaviors as they kind their identification. When we use this broader definition, we uncover highly effective methods to information our women to true confidence. Each of those methods is predicated on proof from physique picture science, so that you might be certain they’re legitimate suggestions. (To study these methods and extra, take a look at our latest e book, Beyond Body Positive: A Mother’s Science-Based Guide for Helping Girls Build a Healthy Body Image (American Psychological Association, 2024)).
Science-Backed Strategies to Foster Body Confidence in Tweens
Focus on Building Your Daughter’s Self-Efficacy
Having a constructive analysis of herself is essential in your daughter. But equally essential and sometimes ignored is the necessity to construct her “can do” perspective. Self-efficacy is her perception in her capability to perform a purpose. Look for methods to focus on her strengths and acknowledge her achievements. For instance, have fun milestones in her piano classes or her capability to finish her math homework independently.
Develop Your Daughter’s Food and Physical Literacy
We train our youngsters many issues, however we regularly neglect that abilities round physique care additionally should be discovered. Body confidence comes from figuring out you may rely in your physique, so instill in your daughter a way of stewardship over her physique now. To be capable of rely on her physique, she might want to take an energetic strategy to well being behaviors. This might be stored easy: fueling her physique appropriately and interesting in common motion are behaviors that may assist not solely bodily however psychological well being all through life. Sports or leisure exercise participation for tweens are nice methods to emphasise consuming to assist physique performance and making motion satisfying in actions?with others.
Redirect Your Daughter if She Talks Excessively About Her Physical Appearance
It’s pure in your daughter to need to look her finest, and it’s high-quality to commit a few of her vitality towards her look, however there’s a draw back to specializing in it.? Teach your daughter to redirect extreme body-related ideas by utilizing mindfulness strategies (e.g., noticing them in a impartial manner and letting them go) and lengthening self-compassion (e.g., be variety to herself as she would to a pal who’s having detrimental ideas, and reminding herself that everybody feels this fashion generally). These are habits price constructing and they’ll have lifelong advantages.
Help Your Daughter Build & Broaden Aspects of Her Self-Concept That Are Not Appearance Related
Traits, traits, and abilities will present a powerful and lasting basis for confidence. For instance, you may level out that your daughter is a good listener, or that she is artistic. Popular media usually focuses on what appears instantly related for a fast “pick-me-up” hit of physique confidence (e.g., memes), however the self-concept is the supportive framework we have to shore up. The capability to face up to detrimental influences from the media or peer strain will come from a well-developed self-concept, which is able to construct confidence and supply safety.
Set the Expectation That Bodies Change and Fluctuate
Talk to your daughter about puberty earlier than it occurs so she is aware of what to anticipate. During puberty, it’s particularly essential to emphasise that massive modifications in her physique are pure and never shameful. Teach your daughter that she is the supervisor of her physique, and an essential a part of taking good care of herself is respecting her physique at all times, regardless of its modifications.
The tween years are an thrilling time as women embark on identification exploration and acquire independence. Moms can lay the inspiration for life-long physique confidence by serving to women deal with an important options that outline them and reminding them that these have little to do with outward look.
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